Ya Rasool Allah (peace be upon him)

Assalamalaykum ya Rasool Allāh SAW

I find myself in a place where I feel far from the path you would have wanted me to be on. I’m still searching for it, still trying to navigate my way through the uncertainty and confusion. I often think about how much others love you, but I can’t help but feel that their love, though spoken, isn’t always reflected in their actions. And I ask myself, how do I show my love for you?

Ya Rasool Allah, I long to be one of your daughters on the Day of Judgment, to stand beside you in the Hereafter. But I am not perfect, like your beloved Fatimah (RA). I am not as pious as she was, and I have not had the privilege of being in your presence, of listening to your khutbah, your halaqas, your salah, or even the joy of praying with you during Eid or Jummah.

I cannot know what it feels like to live in your time, to witness the words of revelation as they were revealed to you, to hear the Qur’an recited with the crispness of your voice. I can only imagine how it must have felt to be in your presence, to hear the words of Allah spoken with such clarity and authority.

Ya Rabbi, I ask You for Al-Waseela and Al-Fadila, the highest rank in Jannah, for Prophet Muhammad (PBUH), who deserves it more than anyone. Please accept my du’a and grant me the closeness to him in the Hereafter.

I yearn for closeness to the Prophet (PBUH). I’ve asked Allah for that qurb (nearness), and yet I feel so distant. I want to understand how it felt to be in his presence—to breathe the air he breathed, to see the love in his eyes, and to learn from his every action. I want to know how he stood for Qiyam, how he recited the Qur’an, how he ate his food, how he loved his companions, and how he cared for his family.

Ya Rabbi, I love him so deeply, but sometimes my heart is clouded by whispers of doubt (waswasa). How do I express my love for the Prophet (PBUH)? How do I truly show him the love he deserves?

Ya Rasool Allah, I may never have met you in this life, but my heart longs to be close to you, to be among those who will be raised with you in Jannah. I cry because I can never know the sweetness of being near you. I only ask Allah to accept my love, my longing, and my du’a. May He grant me the closeness I seek in the Hereafter.